Teaching Middle School
by FansieFace
Summary: Modern AU in which the newsies are middle school teachers. Title may change if I think of a better one.
1. Chapter 1

"Hey Mr. Higgins, you planning on giving homework over break? Because if you are, I would take pleasure in sending you the picture of my copy burning while I enjoy its warmth."

"You do that, Connor. Just know that my new desktop background will be a picture of your grade burning while your dreams of a successful future roast over it." The class laughed at the teacher's sarcastic comment. Race allowed an easy grin to spread when he saw Connor's face turn red. "I wasn't planning on homework..." Race saw his students' face light up. He contained a snort of laughter. Middle schoolers. So easy to torment. "But Connor here has given me an idea." Every face in the room fell. "Every last one of you is required to bring me a photo of you doing something you do every December break." The kids looked confused.

"What does that have to do with social studies, Mr. H?"

"Well, Karen, we're learning about what?"

"People moving into the US from other places."

"Exactly. They all brought a piece of culture with them. So bring in your picture of a tradition, and explain why you do that thing every year in two sentences or more. No less, Nick." The chronic underachiever grinned. The bell rang, signaling the end of the second-to-last period of the day. The kids shuffled around, gathering papers and shoving them into books and folders. Race watched the eighth graders try to organize themselves. He caught Connor's eye and grinned at him. The boy stuck out his tongue. Race raised his eyebrows. He glanced around as if to check if anybody else was looking, then stuck his tongue out right back. Connor looked very surprised. Race smirked as he followed the last of the kids out of the room and headed for the staff room. He breezed in and found the art teacher already there.

"Oh , would you please make five hundred million copies of this book, please?" Race put on a whiny falsetto voice. His friend turned from the window he was looking out of. He shot a smile at Race.

"Ready for Christmas, Racer?"

"Oh yeah. I love the kids, but it's been over three months since I've had more than a weekend without having to talk to them."

"Plus you love the teachers' New Years party." A new voice came from the doorway. A dark-haired man stood in the door. Race slapped him on the back of the head.

"Shut it, Mouth."

"Last time I checked, Race, my name isn't Tony and yours isn't Gibbs."

"Ah, but my middle name is Jethro." Race slapped Davey again.

"Stop it!"

"Don't think I will, thanks." Another slap.

"Break it up, bums." The three old friends shared a laugh. No matter how they may lament the maturity, or lack of it, in their middle school classrooms, few of the teachers were much more mature.

"It stinks that Crutchie has class this period. Imagine how much fun we'd all have together." A young lady with curly dark hair soared in.

"You three cause enough trouble without another buddy helping you out."

"Hiya, Plums."

"That is not my name."

"Hiya, Plums."

" ."

"Hiya, Plums."

"He isn't going to stop until you say hi to him. He does this all the time."

"Hiya, Plums."

"Hello, Mr. Higgins."

"Hiya, Plums."

"What does he want?"

"Say, 'Hi, Race.' Then if he doesn't stop, Davey can slap him."

"It would be a pleasure."

"You and your group are such...boys!"

"Thank you."

"Hiya, Plums."

"Hi, Race."

"Thank you." Race had a smug look on his face. "You coming to the party, Plums?"

"My name isn't 'Plums!' It's Katherine!" She stormed out of the room.

"She didn't answer my question. She just walked away without answering my question. Why didn't she answer my question?" While Race was pondering his issues with unanswered questions, Davey was watching Jack. He had a look on his face that looked like he had been hit in the face with a fish.

"Jack! You like her!"

"Wha-no I don't!"

"Ooh, Jack! I'ma get all my kids to ship you, I'll spread little rumors, this is gonna be great!"

"Race!" Davey groaned. "At least refrain from that until they're officially dating!"

"Since I don't like her, that won't be an issue!"

"Uh-huh. That's what every middle schooler ever says when asked if they like somebody."

"Race! Seriously! Have some tact!" It all went downhill from there. Jack was blushing and Davey was trying to stop Race and Race was making copies of a quickly drawn betting pool and putting them in the mailboxes of their friends. Davey finally gave up trying to stop him.

"One for Romeo, one for Specs. For the Crutch, for Hen, Elmer, Al, Buttons, Knobs. And one for JoJo. I'll find Spot. And Smalls and Sniper too. Ooh, and I bet Les will want in!"

"Race! Seriously! The office ladies, the janitor, and the principle will not want to place bets on whether or not Jack and the new ELA teacher will get together.

"Spot will, Smalls goes for whatever Spot does, Sniper follows Smalls, and your baby brother will be in on anything you are."

"Who said I'm in on this?"

"You are." Neither of them noticed Jack slip out of the room.

"I want nothing to do with this...this idiocy!"

"You're in whether you want to be or not, Dave." Race grinned at his friend. "Oh come on! It'll be fun!"

"Fine." Davey sighed. "Let's go find Spot."

They found Spot in his small office off the main gym.

"Hiya, Spot."

"Hey, Race. Hey Dave. What's up?"

"This." Race slapped his betting pool down on Spot's desk.

"Bets? Ah...so I'm not the only one who thinks Jacky-boy likes that new Katherine girl."

"Nope."

"I bet...the party." Just then the phone on the wall rang. "Janitorial services. Hey, Crutch. Yeah...uh-huh...how? That's actually quite impressive. Who? Ah...how bad? Any electroics? Good...no problem...okay." Spot stood up and stretched. "Sorry, boyos. Duty calls."

"What happened in Crutchie's room?"

"Some idiot decided that dismantling the sink so that it sprayed water everywhere was a good idea. Apparently it sprayed all over the classroom. Almost got the computer and projector, but not quite."

"That is pretty impressive. Who was it?"

"That Ashton King kid?"

"Ah. He does seem to enjoy taking things apart."

"He destroyed one of our Bunsen burners once. I don't even know how."

"He's gotten my chair a few times. Come to think of it, the pencil sharpener alway malfunctions after he uses it, too."

"Well, I gotta clean up the mess he made. See ya around, boys." Spot strolled casually from the room, stopping at a closet to pull out a mop. Race watched as his friend walked down the hall.

"Think he's right? About the party?" He asked Davey.

"Probably. That's where most of the bets will be, I bet."

"Hmm." Race nodded, filling in Spot's bet on his master chart. "Let's go Dave. To the office!"

 **So this is a story that came out of staying up really, really late (here in EST anyway) one night in the Newsies Pape Selling Competition Chatroom topic. This is not an entry to the contest, but the idea came sort of from Emador in a game of Would You Rather/Kiss, Marry or Kill. She said she would like to imagine the newsies working with her as middle school teachers, and then more brainstorming happened and I ended up writing this.**


	2. Chapter 2

"Smaa-allls!" Race crowed as he sailed into the main office, Davey heading into the smaller office off to the side to give a betting pool to Sniper. The dark haired woman held up a hand to shush him while continuing her phone call.

"Okay, thanks. I'll let Evan know. Buhbye." She place the phone back on its cradle. "Wadaya want, Race? That day is almost over!"

"Which is precisely why I wanted to talk to you now, Smalls dear."

"I am not your dear."

"Nope. You're Spot's." Race said matter-of-factly. Smalls blushed.

"Am not!"

"Are too."

"Am not!"

"Are too."

"Am not!"

"Are too."

"Am not!"

"Are too."

"Am not!"

"Are too."

"Am not!"

"Are too."

"Am not!"

"Are not!"

"Am too! Ugh! Racetrack Higgins! You're such a _child_!"

"I know, isn't it great?" Race smirked, leaning against the tall desk. "I have something for you."

"What? If you say a kiss, I'm going to slap you."

"If I kissed you, Spot would hurt me worse than a slap."

"I'm not dating the janitor!"

"Sure, Smalls. It"s not a kiss, anyway." He slid a copy of the bets to her. "Let's keep this on the down low." He whispered. "I'm not sure our ESTEEMED PRINCIPAL WOULD CARE FOR THIS PARTICULAR ADVENTURE!" He grinned at her as he shouted.

"What particular adventure would this be, Mr. Higgins?" A smooth voice said from behind him. Race turned to see the principal leaning on the doorframe to his office.

"Ah, Lester. Glad to see you heard my announcement." Smalls facepalmed. Race grinned at his old friend, who was almost a replicate of his older brother. He passed a betting pool over, and Les looked it over with interest.

"Jack likes Katherine? When did this happen?"

"Probably since her first day, but this bet started today. Spot bet on the party, Dave hasn't decided yet, and Smalls hasn't spoken. Davey is talking to Sniper now." Les smiled.

"Well if it's passed Davey's inspection, I suppose I won't shut it down." Race laughed, slapping Les on the back.

"Thatta boy, Mini-mouth." Les took a copy of the pool, looking it over.

"Well… I don't think it'll be the party. Too obvious. They'll try to hide it for a while, if I know Katherine. Maybe...hmm." Les scanned the whole thing over again. "Ten bucks on February break."

"Okay…" Race marked Les down just as Davey came out of Sniper's small side office, laughing over his shoulder at something the woman had said.

"Snipes is placing on…" Davey trailed off when he saw his brother talking to Race. "Uh… hey, Les."

"Hiya, Dave! Whatcha betting on?" Davey visibly relaxed at his brother's joking, satisfied that he wouldn't be getting in trouble for being part of the bet. Les had always been a slightly unorthodox principal, willing to joke around with and become friends with the teachers and some of the older students. He was a genius, only twenty-four to Davey's thirty-two, but extremely smart for his age and very capable.

"Uh… I haven't decided yet."

"Oh. Well I bet on February break."

"I'll go for… after that long weekend in January. They'd admit it then." Smalls interjected.

"Oh! That's what Sniper said!" Race nodded and wrote the two latest bets down.

"Mouth, you gonna bet now, or do you wanna wait until I've got the rest of them?" Race looked at Davey expectantly, then switched his gaze to Les as he thought of something else. "And do you know where I can hang this where Plums won't find it? I don't want her to find it and get the wrong idea, you know?"

"I'll wait," Davey said. "And I need to get back to my classroom to set up for a lab next period. Find me when you've got more bets, or I'll find you when I've made up my mind."

"And you can hang it in supply three." Sniper poked her head out of her office to speak. "That has nothing for an English teacher, just science and history with a few artsy kind of things." Race nodded.

"Or in my-" Smalls's phone on her desk rang and she held up a hand to silence the conversation.

"Okay… when did this happen? Okay… yep… I'll tell him… okay… buh-bye." She hung up and looked at Les. "Luke Stingle is coming down. He started another spitball war." Les sighed.

"Right. Well, have a good vacation, you guys. See you at the party!" Les walked back into his office, shaking his head. Race grinned at Smalls.

"See you later, Smalls. I'll tell Spot you say hey." Smalls blushed and swatted her friend.

"I am not Conlon's girl!" Race laughed and walked out of the office, heading out to find the other teachers who might take part in the bet.


End file.
